Tradition Just Got A Boot Up The Butt
by KlainexXxArygon
Summary: Mercedes has invited David to her place for a family get together, but David doesn't think it's very fair. So he gives one of their traditions the boot!


_Okay this is my first solo Mercedes and David FanFic. I was only going to do Klaine but I'm writing one that has Klaine and Mercedes/David and so I thought I'd do one that was just Mercedes and David._

_Now can someone tell me what Mercedes+David=? Like Kurt+Blaine=Klaine buts whats mercedes and david?_

_Enjoy!_

_P.S. I mean nothing in this fic racistly. When I say they're black, it's only because I'm too lazy to write African-American each time. Same with sexism towards african-americans. I wrote this while at my grandparents place and it's quite sexist there so please don't take offence. I can't stress enough that I am not racist. Heck one of my bffs is black. And totally awesome. So please no negativity in that department. _

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Mercedes and David had been dating for a couple of weeks now. She'd invited him over to her place for a big family get together. Normally she didn't have anyone to take but now that she had a boyfriend she could.

David had, with the help of an ecstatic Kurt, dressed nicely and been directed to her father's house in Lima. He was a wealthy doctor, so why Mercedes was in the public system David had no idea.

The house was huge, and beautiful, but David, with wealthy parents himself was used to it. He straightened his jacket and walked up to the door, knocking three times.

A thin black girl of about 10 answered the door. 'Hello, may I take your coat?'

David smiled charmingly at her. 'Yes, thank you.' The girl smiled and reached up on her tippy-toes to hang it.

'The men are in through that way.' The girl pointed down a long corridor.

'And the women?' David really wanted to say hi to Mercedes.

'They are in the kitchen, but you may not want to go there. The men say it's too much oestrogen for them.'

David grinned. 'I'll make a note of that.'

As the girl turned to help another guest, David slipped down the hall to the kitchen, where music was being played.

The kitchen itself was big and beautiful, and filled with female African-Americans of all ages and sizes. Mercedes was standing in front of a big pot, slowly stirring. Her hair was straight and lustrous, and she was dressed in jazzy clothing with a big gold necklace that read Mercedes hanging around her neck.

'Oh the hell with this white girl music!' Mercedes suddenly exclaimed, waving a spoon around. 'Put on something I can sing to!'

A small girl clicked on a song for Mercedes. As she started singing along, David realised the song was 'If I Were A Boy by Beyonce.

David watched in admiration as Mercedes hit all the notes perfectly, using her spoon as a microphone. The other girls were playing back-up for her.

'But you're just a boy.' Mercedes finished softly. The girls wolf-whistled.

'Nice one Beyonce!' A girl called out.

David jumped as a big woman moved up to him. 'Who you looking for?' She asked, drying a dish.

David looked up and smiled. 'I was looking for Beyonce, but I think I've found her.'

Every girl in the room but Mercedes turned to look at him. Some started whispering, looking shocked.

'Mercedes! Take 5 and deal with your boyfriend. Anna, take over her job. Now the rest of you, get back to work!' The woman thundered as she moved through the kitchen.

Mercedes pulled off her apron and hung it before pulled David out by his jacket into a private room.

'You look handsome.' She murmured, running a hand down his coat.

David smiled. 'Well you look beautiful.' And she did. He wasn't just saying that.

Mercedes smiled and gave him a kiss. 'I'm sorry to say this but I have to keep working.'

David smiled and kissed her back. 'She gave you 5 minutes. You've only used 2.'

Mercedes giggling as he pulled her into a tight hug, pecking her cheek.

'By the way Beyonce you are the reason we have competition from New Directions.'

The girl giggled again. 'Why thank you David.' They rubbed noses cutely.

'Hmm you know most of the girls in there are shocked that I have a boyfriend.'

David shook his head. 'No, they are shocked that you found someone mature enough to see how truly beautiful you are.'

Mercedes smiled. 'And that's why I love you.'

David grinned. 'I love you too. Now exactly where am I supposed to go?'

'This way.' Mercedes lead him through the halls and pointed to a large door. 'I'll see you at lunch.'

David gave her a chaste kiss on the forehead. 'Cya Beyonce.' As he watched his girlfriend go, he noticed a cheerful bounce in her step that hadn't been there before. He smiled and pushed open the door.

The room was filled with black men. Thankfully they were sophisticated men, not the sort in movies like the Blind Side where they were drinking and smoking and doing drugs.

'And who are you?' A tall man asked, from his perch on a comfortable recliner.

'David. The name's David. How do you do, sir?' He stepped forward with an outstretched hand.

The man eyed him before taking his hand. 'I'm good son. Who invited you?' He wasn't acting like David was unwelcome, he was just curious as to who invited him.

'Mercedes Jones invited me, sir.' There was a stir of whispers among the men. They were just as bad as the girls.

The man raised his eyebrows. 'My girl invited you?'

David nodded. 'Yes sir.'

The man leaned back. 'Are you two just friends or...?'

'I'm her boyfriend.' Someone snorted in disbelief. Mr Jones threw a glare at the offender, but the damage was done.

'Really? Well I'm glad my daughter has gotten a boyfriend.' He may as well have said 'finally' for all the offensive it conveyed.

David was slightly annoyed by the lack of respect Mercedes had been given, even if it wasn't directly to her. 'Just because Mercedes isn't skin and bone doesn't mean she can't have a boyfriend. The problem in this world is that all most men want is stick-figures instead of a real women and especially at my age we boys often aren't mature enough to see how truly beautiful women like Mercedes are.'

'But you are mature enough?' Mr Jones asked with a proud glint in his eyes.

David thrust his chin up. 'Yes sir.'

'Well, take a seat! James, move over and let him sit on the couch.' One of the men squashed himself up against the arm of the couch to give David some room.

'Thank you James.' The man nodded in reply.

David grew bored as the discussion turned to politics and interrogating each new man that arrived. He listened in case he was asked a question but he'd grown up listening to all the debates between wealthy men. It never got any less boring.

Eventually an angel came to save him a death of boredom. Mercedes cracked open the door and waited for silence.

'Lunch is ready.' She bowed her head respectfully, casting a quick glance at David before leaving, her father following.

There was a polite rush to the door once the doctor had left, and David just went with it. He found himself standing around a huge table, waiting for the doctor to take his place. He felt a hand slip into his and lead him towards the head of the table. He squeezed it gently.

As the doctor's daughter, Mercedes got a seat on his right hand, opposite her mother. David, as her guest, sat next to Mercedes, which caused some confusion among the other people who were moved a seat down because of him.

The table was covered in beautiful roasts and stews. It was a feast for the gods. The women had worked hard all morning and produced this gourmet meal.

Her father stood up and gave a short speech, before taking a sip of wine and telling everyone to "dig in" as he sat back down.

The noise was deafening. Firstly it was the clatter of dishes and spoons as the family and friends helped themselves to the delicious food. Then it was the conversation that followed as people yelled over each other and across the table. David was silent, looking around with a hint of amusement.

He felt Mercedes nudge him. He flashed her a broad grin. 'This is amazing.' The girl smiled.

'Isn't it just?' Mercedes was happy, and David slipped a hand into her own. He knew that her father was staring but he didn't care. He leaned his head to rest against hers, and she giggled.

'Thank you for coming.'

David smiled. 'Anything for you.' He planted a quick peck on her cheek, bringing a healthy blush to her round cheeks.

Once the extensive lunch had been completed, the woman went back to the kitchen to make dessert, and the men had a cigar, or if they weren't old enough or didn't smoke, they played football outside.

David had fun playing outside. Little did he know that all the men smoking were watching him, gathering an opinion of him.

He gently tackled a small boy of about 7 who had a good run with the ball. He was probably nearly the eldest, so he passed the ball to the younger ones to give them a chance.

'He seems like a good bloke, Jones.' One of the younger men voiced.

'Everyone is flawed. Is he poor?'

'No Jones. He's actually quite well off. Perhaps even better than you.' An older wiser man answered.

'Hmm...then why does he go for someone like my daughter?' Dr Jones asked.

'Maybe he sees beauty in her that no one else does.'

'Oh that was just a speech.'

'I don't know Jones. It seemed rather raw and straight from the heart.'

'Oh hold on he's leaving the field. Mercedes has come out to see him.' The man who reported it was only a year older than David.

Mr Jones moved the scout aside and looked out the window. David had taken his daughter's hands and led her further down the grass. He spun her around and collected her in his arms, before resting his head against Mercedes'.

Even from a distance Mr Jones could see that his daughter was in complete, utter love. But what surprised him even more is that the boy she loved was also in love with her. Complete utter love.

'What do you think Jones?'

The man shook his head. 'I think they are in love. And who are we to break them up? But if he hurts her...then he will pay.'

'I love you Beyonce.'

Mercedes grinned. 'I love you too.'

David leaned down to kiss her, just a gentle kiss, because the boys playing football were watching and going, 'Eww girl cooties!'

The boy twirled his girl around one last time before regretfully parting so she could work in the kitchen. An idea formed in David's head as Mercedes walked away, and he looked up at the men staring down on him. He waved and went inside, intending to share his idea with them.

As David slipped into the room, he nearly died of smoke inhalation. A few men chuckled.

'David? Can we help you?'

The boy nodded. 'I was just wondering, after dessert, who is going to clean the dishes?'

Mr Jones looked at him like it was the stupidest question ever voiced. 'The woman of course.'

David shook his head. 'They shouldn't have to. We should.'

The men just laughed. Except Mr Jones.

'Why?'

David looked into the doctor's eyes. 'Because the women have already done so much and we've done nothing but enjoy their food and enjoy ourselves. And it's not like we didn't use plates or anything. We made mess too. It should be how we say thank you to the women for giving us an amazing meal.'

The men were laughing even harder. And it was starting to annoy David.

'You take your women for granted. They cook for you, they clean for you and they have your kids. It's not fair for them to be used and get nothing out of it. They are worth more than that! It's the least you could do by the woman you take for granted; clean the god damned dishes!'

The men had finally stopped laughing. They were looking at each other like David was nuts.

'I agree.'

The boy's head shot up. Mr Jones was nodding his head.

'Every man in this house will accompany me to the kitchen after dessert and help me clean the dishes. Do not try to get out of it for I was throw you out and disown you so fast you don't know what hit you.'

'Will you be getting your surgeon hands dirty too?' The young scout added like a smart-arse.

Jones turned to him. 'Yes, and so will you.'

Mr Jones was so serious that no one dared to defy him. A knock on the door brought their attention from that topic.

It was Mercedes again. 'Dessert is served.' She beamed, slipping away. David moved to follow her, but Dr Jones interrupted him.

'You have my blessing David.'

The boy paused. 'Thank you sir.' He slipped out of the door and grinned.

'Hey you.' David whirled, and grinned at his girl.

'Hey beautiful.'

'Come with me.' Mercedes giggled as the other men started filing out.

She led him to the huge table, which was absolutely covered with the most incredible variety of desserts.

'Oh my...'

'It looks good doesn't it?'

'Uh-huh.' David was so stunned Mercedes had to lead him to his seat.

Jellies, cakes, puddings and ice-cream of every colour and shape were gathered around a giant ice-cream cake, topped with a giant strawberry.

As everyone else was awed by the women and their work, Mr Jones stood at the head of the table and gave himself a small slice of bread and butter pudding. Everyone hurriedly sat and started stuffing themselves.

David was utterly amazed at how genuinely good the food was. Everyone got a slice of the ice-cream cake, and it was soft and creamy. The boy rolled it around his mouth, savouring the taste.

Once everyone had potbellies and were laying back in their chairs, the women brought in containers and started storing all the food they could. David stared at Mr Jones the whole time.

When they left, Mr Jones stared at the men. 'Load each other up with as many plates as sensibly possible and make your way to the kitchen.'

David was the first to move. He motioned one of the younger boys over to him and gave him half a dozen plates to carry. The kid held his head high as he marched to the kitchen.

'Come on move it!' Mr Jones yelled as he dragged a few reluctant men up by their collars, giving them a heap of plates.

David gave himself 10 plates and followed the men. He found them all standing outside the kitchen.

'What's going on?'

'The women won't let us in.' One of the younger boys whispered.

Mr Jones, carrying plates himself, yelled. 'Women! Get out of the kitchen through the other door and unlock this one! Now!'

The door went click and Mercedes opened it. 'Everyone but me is...' She drifted off as she saw the plates. She covered her mouth in astonishment.

David stepped forward. 'Hi darling. Let me in please?'

The girl just nodded, astonished by the men. She hurried out the other side to tell the women. David grinned and ditched his plates in the sink. He rolled up his sleeves and turned the hot water on.

'Okay guys put all the plates here and I'll need some of you to wash, some of you to dry and the rest of you to put them away.' Mr Jones ordered, standing next to David as they washed the plates, passing them to the other men.

David heard a small _click_ from the doorway and turned to see Mercedes holding a phone. He flashed her a goofy grin._ Click_.

'You're a good man David.' Jones boomed as he scrubbed the grime from a bowl.

'Thank you. And I believe you are too.'

The doctor nodded. 'And now I believe it too.'

David paused in his scrubbing and looked at Mr Jones. 'You've always been a good man, as far as I can tell. You are a great father to Mercedes, and you listened to me when I voiced my opinion and used your authority to enforce it.'

The doctor smiled. 'Thank you David. And look after my little diva princess.'

'Oh trust me sir, Beyonce is in good hands.'

After a good hour of aching hands and burns the men were finally finished. They stepped out of the kitchen and into the crowd of women.

Mercedes stepped forward. 'Papa? What's going on?' She was laughing, her beautiful deep laugh.

Jones raised his head. 'We did the dishes.'

The women all looked at each other, before bursting out in happy laughter. Mercedes wiped a tear from her eye.

'We know _that_, but what made you guys do it?'

Jones looked back at an abashed David. 'You picked a good man Mercedes.'

A large woman stepped forward. 'If you men have messed up my kitchen I will murder each and every one of you.'

'Aunt Marge, relax. You can inspect your kitchen and use the men to fix up anything they did wrong so they know for next time.' Mercedes had a cheeky glint in her eyes.

'Next time?' One of the men echoed.

'Oh yeah, this is a new tradition that ain't going down in a hurry.' One of the women said sassily.

The men looked at each other in horror. 'Well, I guess if we have to...'

'And that is how the men came to clean the dishes.' Mercedes finished, hugging her son tightly. 'Now go help your father.'

'Okay mama.' The boy ran up and joined his father at the sink. David hadn't changed in ten years. He was still that gentleman that Mercedes had met in her junior year. And she was still head over heels in love with him.

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_Ahahahahahahahahaa I hope you liked it. Review please._


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